What would have happened if?
by Emma Jay Bentley
Summary: Follow on from the sisters mothers daughters series, looking at what happens next and how Catherine's life could have been different.
1. Chapter 1

What would have happened if?

Chapter 1

Looking at her granddaughter asleep Catherine couldn't help but smile, Sara Willow Hopkirk was perfect in every way possible. Catherine smiled again as her eldest daughter walked into the room looking tired after working a long shift at the hospital where she was doing her residency.

"How's she been?" Charlie asked giving her mother a hug before gently kissing her daughter on her head. The little girl was clearly unaware that her mother was home from work.

"Perfect, how was work?" Catherine asked as the pair made their way downstairs into the lounge.

"Usual upset and trauma, people's lives turned upside down in a second and they're left asking what would have happened if…" Charlie replied sitting down with a sigh and moving the teddy that belonged to her daughter which she'd just sat on.

"Do you ever wonder what if?" Catherine asked watching her eldest daughter carefully; Charlie threw her a questioning look. Catherine gave her the example of wondering what would have happened if her boyfriend from years ago Blake hadn't died whilst she was serving in the air force, back in a time when Catherine and Charlie hadn't met one another again.

"I think we'd have been happy for a while but then maybe have drifted apart with our careers, back then I was all set on continuing in the air force, Afghanistan put a stop to that and changed my plans after he'd died, plus he let me get my own way all the time, I need challenging, I always need someone to push me otherwise I'd give up." Charlie replied and Catherine knew exactly what she meant, Ethan and Charlie always seemed to bring out the best in one another. Then Charlie asked the question to Catherine.

"Quite a lot, more so when you weren't in my life, less so now I suppose." Catherine replied. "Before you came back into my life I questioned so many decisions I'd made, and I suspect several people I know had done the same thing too." Catherine looked at her daughter. "I once caught myself wondering what would have happened had Lindsey and I not moved out here and I thought about not being able to see my granddaughter growing up or spending time with both my daughters. I knew moving here was the best decision I could have made."

She'd said goodbye to her daughter saying she'd see her for lunch the next day, getting home she put some laundry on before going to bed, as it was Friday Lindsey was out at one of her friends. In bed she lay thinking about her conversation with Charlie, whilst she'd spoken to her daughter about how she imagined life to be had she not come to New York she wondered so many things. What would have happened if? Several questions that really made her wonder. There were many things that had shaped her life, what if they'd have been different?

Catherine heard someone calling her name, thinking it was Ethan and worried that there was something up she hurried downstairs. She had to sit down on the bottom step when she spotted who had called her name; she was face to face with a ghost, a ghost from Las Vegas.

Warrick Brown was stood in her hallway smiling at her.

"Give me a hug girl." He smiled and Catherine followed the instruction hugging him, before suddenly worrying about what was happening. She was worried she was having a mental breakdown and hurriedly took a step back.

"Don't worry, everything's fine, I said I'd always have your back." He smiled before explaining that he knew she'd been thinking about how her life could have been different, and how Charlie's life would have changed. He was going to show it to her so that she wouldn't have any regrets. He told her that he would show her how life would have been if:

1: she hadn't run away to Seattle.

2: She hadn't given Charlie up.

3: She hadn't married Eddie.

4: Sara's neighbour hadn't called the police that night.

5: She'd died in the accident.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - What if she hadn't run away to Seattle?

"Although going to Seattle gave you your daughter it also gave you a lot of heartbreak." Warrick explained. "You gave up the first person you truly gave your heart too and you've never fully recovered from it." Catherine looked at him confused so he clarified. "In that moment when you first held your baby girl you gave her your heart, and it broke when you had to hand her over. And it's something you've thought a lot about over the years. But what if you hadn't left that morning to make your fortune?" He held out his hand and Catherine took it unquestioningly.

Vegas and the mid 80s. Catherine saw herself with her mother and sister, they were sat eating dinner and Sam Braun was as ever watching over them. They seemed happy on the outside but looking at her younger self Catherine knew she was unhappy. She'd left because she was unhappy and desperate for freedom; sat there she knew she was unlikely to get it. She'd been too scared to escape on that train because she wondered what would have happened if she'd ever have to come back having failed to make it. She knew that her parents would never ever let her live it down; she'd be ashamed of herself for having failed.

Flash forward a few months later Catherine was working in the club, doing what she did best – dancing. She had a natural talent that many dancers envied. Earning pretty good money she quickly became a hit, and started getting hits, she didn't like to think about what she did because she hated herself for it. But there was no way out, Sam made sure of that and her mother was too scared to help her. Nancy was lucky, Sam was paying for her to go to college but Catherine was a big earner. There was no way he was going to let her go.

They were at the stage where Catherine had first met Gil but in this life she didn't. Going to Las Vegas a year earlier meant she'd missed it, she was working somewhere else earning more money when the investigator had turned up. And then she'd missed Eddie but had met his dealer instead. She'd married a drug dealer and fell into life as his biggest customer.

The year Lindsey was born in her 'real life' saw Catherine having surgery to fix the hole that had appeared into her nose through the drug abuse. Her husband had left her for a younger model and it had hurt, but the money he was still giving her every moth quelled the pain – she spent the money on drugs until waking up to realise her nose was collapsing on her.

Possession – busted for possession by the LVPD. The punishment was that she was sentenced to get cleaned up, and she did. The second she got out of rehab she got out of Las Vegas heading to the place she had once called home. Montana. She knew that to really get clean she had to get away from the city that had corrupted her.

A few years later saw Catherine working as a receptionist in a clinic and also working as a councillor for people with drug and alcohol problems. She was married but years of drug abuse had left her unable to have children. Whilst she was happily married the fact that she'd never be a mother left her heartbroken, she was desperate to have children so to cover the pain she threw herself into her work.

"Hello?" Catherine asked answering her phone; the ringing had woken her up.

"Mum where are you? Is everything ok?" Lindsey's worried voice asked.

"What?" Catherine asked wondering what time it was reaching for her watch. Picking it up she saw that it was 10am, she was meant to be picking Lindsey up from her friend's house so they could spend the day together. "Honey I'm so sorry, look get a cab and I'll pay the fare." Catherine said hopping out of bed.

Whilst waiting for Lindsey to arrive Catherine was digesting what she'd seen. Not going to Seattle had resulted in her not marrying Eddie, not becoming a CSI, not having Lindsey but still having a drug problem. Her life had been worse because she was too scared to take a risk, she'd been afraid of failing but the early stages of the life she'd just seen showed nothing to be proud of. The only achievements coming later on when she used her own experiences to help other people.

The second Lindsey came in through the door Catherine enveloped her in a big hug, overwhelmed with emotion at seeing her daughter and seeing how miserable her life had been without her in it. She really was blessed to have two wonderful daughters and was determined to make the most of them, starting with spoiling Lindsey on their shopping trip.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - What if she hadn't given Charlie up?

She'd spent the week fussing over Lindsey but then suddenly realised that she'd not seen her eldest daughter. It struck her as odd that she hadn't thought about her daughter as much as she usually did. In the life she'd seen she'd never had either daughter but in the short term she'd missed Lindsey the most. It made her feel guilty.

"Understandable though, although Charlie's been alive the longest Lindsey's been a bigger part of your life in terms of always being around you. You knew in that life there wouldn't be a Charlie but you assumed Lindsey would be there. But I'll show you your life with Charlie as it could have been." Warrick smiled reaching out for her hand which she readily gave him.

She bought the bear that Charlie still had many years later and took it with her into the hospital. She was meant to be saying goodbye to her daughter when she gave her up but she couldn't bring her self to be parted from little baby Charlotte.

She'd found a job and a home and there was a lovely old lady next door who was willing to take care of Charlotte whilst she was at work. It wasn't fantastic accommodation or fantastic pay but they'd be able to survive, she'd be able to take care of her little girl which was all she wanted.

Charlie learned to walk at an early age – only she wasn't called Charlie she was Lottie, her hair was blonde and she had a bubbly personality – like the one she'd imagined a baby Charlie to have. There was a man in her life who doted on Lottie; he was a teacher in the school where she worked as a secretary.

A year later Catherine married Frank and became Mrs Hunter, he also decided to officially adopt Lottie so they became a proper family, the little girl had a mother and a father who loved her dearly. They settled quickly into married life and two years after becoming Mrs Hunter Catherine fell pregnant, nine months after that she had a little girl called Lindsey. Frank absolutely doted on baby Lindsey, much more than he ever had done on Charlotte. Even Catherine spent a lot more time with Lindsey than Charlie, she was able to stop working and become a stay at home mother, just as Lottie went to school.

Four year old Charlotte Hunter was sent home from nursery for fighting with someone to get the teachers attention, she was hoping it would give her attention at home but it didn't work. She was sent into her bedroom by her father and spent the rest of the day there on her own until her mother got back from shopping with baby Lindsey. Catherine came into the room and told her off then left her on her own with the baby, Lindsey started crying so Frank came in, he slapped Lottie round the back of the head hard before taking Lindsey out of the room with him.

Eight year old Charlotte Hunter glared at her younger sister, Lottie was turning 8 and Lindsey had been given more presents than she had. Everybody in the family liked Lindsey better, especially her parents, it was because Lindsey was their proper child, Lottie wasn't and Frank had a habit of reminding her about it. Lindsey had two friends round for the birthday tea but the birthday girl wasn't allowed to invite anyone. But then again she didn't have any friends to invite.

Ten year old Lottie Hunter got on the bus that was heading out of Seattle; she was off to stay with her grandmother in Las Vegas. Catherine was glad to see the back of her daughter who was constantly getting into trouble at school and putting strain on her relationship with Frank. They'd just had a son, Frank Jr so Catherine had no time for her eldest child and Frank Sr didn't want her around causing problems.

She was met at the station by Lilly who enveloped her eldest grandchild in a huge hug, Lilly felt sorry for Lottie and how she'd been treated by Catherine so had offered for her to come and stay with her for a while. She was going to give Lottie some of the attention that she'd missed out on since Lindsey had been born, and that was going to start with a family lunch with Sam Braun, Nancy and Jeremy.

5 years – that's how long it was before Catherine saw Lottie again, they'd gone to Vegas for the holidays, Catherine was shocked at how more confident her daughter had become, she seemed much happier than she ever had done. The 15 year old who'd walked through the door of her mother's house shocked her. Charlotte was every inch a strong and independent teenager, Lilly had given her the security of a home but had let Charlotte turn into who she was meant to be. Charlotte knew where the boundaries were and didn't push them, and she had a part time job in a nearby sports centre. Catherine saw then that Lilly had been a better parent to Charlotte in 5 years than she had been in 10. Lilly had even been a better mother to Charlotte than she had to her and Nancy, Lilly had seen Charlie as her second chance.

5 years later and Catherine had no contact with her eldest child at all, she hadn't ever returned to Seattle because the last time Lottie and Frank had seen one another he'd had a real go and she'd been brave enough to have a go back. Charlotte had once been terrified of Frank but at 20 she was scared of nobody at all. Lilly and Sam Braun were putting her through medical school, Sam had been a good influence on Charlotte, even with his criminal dealings as far as Charlie was concerned he was legitimate and the doting grandfather. Lindsey however was needy, spoiled and always pushing things to the limit, Frank let her and Frank Jr. get away with everything. Each time they did something wrong he compared them to Lottie and Catherine felt like a bad mother.

"Better off without me." Catherine said through the tears that were falling down her face as Warrick showed her a final scene of Lottie saying she hated her and that Lilly had been a wonderful mother to her.

"Charlie is a strong independent woman, and it took a Flynn woman to make her that way. Catherine Hunter lost her independent streak when she married, you however still have yours." He smiled but that didn't make her feel any better.

Getting home from work the next day Catherine heard laughing coming from the kitchen, entering the room she saw Lindsey and Charlie sat around the table laughing hysterically. Joining them she soon was laughing herself and thinking that the way things had turned out now were quite good. In life people needed to find their own way to being who they were meant to be and in both lifetimes Charlie had, she was able to be independent and become a doctor without Catherine's help. It was a thought that was both comforting and upsetting. She had one daughter who didn't really need her but wanted her in her life and that's what made her relationship with Charlie so special.

"So, there's a reason I popped around today." Charlie said with a smile.

"Oh my God!" Lindsey exclaimed making her sister smile even more. It took a second for Catherine to register what was going on.

"Really?" Catherine asked the delay in her response causing her daughters to laugh.

"Early days but I wanted to tell you anyway, I just couldn't keep it in." Charlie smiled. "Just don't tell anyone, until you know…" She trailed off, she'd had a miscarriage a few months earlier but had been so excited about falling pregnant again she had to tell her mother and sister.


	4. Chapter 4

What would have happened if?

Chapter 4 - What if she hadn't married Eddie?

A grandmother for the second time, the thought made Catherine smile; she hadn't been told Charlie had fallen pregnant a few months ago until after the miscarriage. She'd felt devastated for her daughter, all Charlie ever wanted was for a family of her own. Being a mother meant so much to Charlie; she wanted the chance to be to someone what nobody ever was to her. She'd watched how Charlie was with little Sara on her first birthday party, so happy, so at peace with herself. She took to being a mother like Catherine never had, and unlike Catherine Charlie hadn't stayed with her husband simply for the sake of their baby. Charlie and Ethan clearly loved one another regardless of how many children they had, the way they'd been when they were dating and before Sara had come along spoke volumes about their relationship, there was a love there that Catherine had never experienced.

Warrick led her into the room, a younger version of Catherine sat there before her holding a pregnancy test showing her that she was going to have a baby. And there sat across from her was Eddie who was slowly getting off of his face on his preferred drug of the moment.

"I'm pregnant." Catherine said through tears remembering the last time she'd taken a pregnancy test and getting the same result – it was a whole lifetime ago.

"We should get married." Eddie said through his drug induced haze. Looking up at him wiping the white powder off of his nose she suddenly realised that she didn't want to be there with him, she didn't want to bring a child into the situation they were in. She was slowly starting her career at the crime lab thanks to Gil supporting her and believing in her. She knew she could do it on her own; she had to do it on her own, to prove she could be a good mother to the baby, to finally give her love to her child like she couldn't do to Charlotte.

Gil was with her the day Lindsey was born, he was her rock, he was fantastic even though the amount of the emotion in the room left him out of his depth. Catherine needed a friend and he was that friend. She'd straightened herself out after meeting Gil and from before then she'd been off the drugs, and having a baby kept her away from them after several low points. She hadn't seen Eddie since the marriage proposal and he'd made no attempt to contact her. With the support of her mother, sister and Grissom she was going to bring the baby up on her own.

Catherine sat looking at a photo of Lindsey; the girl had inherited her mothers smile and colouring. Lindsey was developing so fast, it made her think even more about Charlotte, wonder where she was and how she was doing. Every time Lindsey did something Catherine thought about trying to locate her daughter.

One night on a very quiet shift Catherine silently celebrated her eldest daughter's tenth birthday and decided to find out what had happened to her baby girl. Searching for the number she put in a call to Seattle's police department.

A week later a social worker from Seattle called to inform them that a child named Charlotte with the same date of birth as Catherine had given had moved to another state with her adoptive parents. Catherine felt relieved to know that her daughter had been adopted but it did nothing to quell her desire to find her firstborn.

Using the name she'd been given she tracked the family down in San Francisco, daring to venture up there on a weekend off from work saying to her mother that she was going to visit an old friend. She stood outside the house of the people who'd adopted her daughter and wanted to thank them. Taking a deep breath she went to knock on their door. A gruff looking man answered.

"Hello, my name is Catherine Flynn." Catherine said and at the name Flynn the man winced as if someone was about to hit him.

"Haven't heard that name in a long time." He said sounding somewhat apologetic.

"I'm sorry?" Catherine asked.

"I'm guessing you're related somehow," He sighed. "The eyes." He added. "But you've had a wasted journey." At that Catherine felt her heart break, he was about to tell her that her daughter was dead. She looked at him and he spoke. "She's probably still in the system somewhere, a messed up girl, evil if you ask me. Tried to do a danger to my Billy so we decided to part ways." He said and watched as Catherine regained her composure.

"Do you have any idea where she went?" She asked hopeful but he couldn't tell her anything.

3 months later she struck lucky, a social worker friend from Las Vegas knew a social worker in San Francisco who knew the name Charlotte Catherine Flynn quite well. They'd been struggling to place her after problems in yet another home. So that same week Catherine flew back to San Francisco to meet with her daughter's social worker.

Catherine started crying when she saw the photo of her daughter; she was scared and looked alone. The social worker Mary explained the situation to her and gave her a little bit of the information about her daughter's life. Catherine made it clear there and then that she wanted her daughter, she wanted to give Charlotte a home but because she was a single mother in Las Vegas it would prove almost difficult. However Catherine did manage to meet her daughter with Mary watching. Charlie was angry, shy and unsure of the lady who she was told was her mother. But 2 hours later Charlie had warmed up and they were chatting nicely.

It took 20 months from the first meeting to Catherine taking Charlie home with her to Las Vegas. The 12 year old was very quiet and very small for her age but Lindsey seemed to bring her out of her shell, the little girl adored her big sister from the moment she met her. That night Catherine went to sleep feeling the happiest she'd ever been with her daughters under the same roof.

She liked that life and Warrick smiled at how brightly she was smiling. She'd been able to have her career and both daughters in the end. It was like her 'real' life only with a lot less heartbreak. But then she thought for a moment about Charlie, and how her hard life had helped shape her into the person she was, how the people she'd met along the way had come to mean so much to her. Like Charles Grant, Sara Sidle and Ethan. She wouldn't have met any of them, 3 people who had played a huge part in Charlie's life, and the man who was her daughter's life, the man who was the father to her granddaughter and who would be the father of her second grandchild in a few weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

What would have happened if?

Chapter 5 - What if Sara's neighbour hadn't ever rung the police?

Catherine smiled as she looked at the scan of her second grandchild; Charlie was getting bigger by the day and was glowing. Pregnancy suited her eldest daughter down to the ground and she looked good on it. Catherine smiled again as little Sara put her hand on her mother's stomach and said the word 'baby'. Sara was growing quickly, she was proving to be bright as a button too, she was quickly learning to speak and running as fast as her tiny legs could carry her, sometimes grandma had a hard time keeping up with her.

"Gama baby." Sara said again beaming at her grandmother who put the photo down and went to scoop her up in her arms so that the girl giggled. It was a sound that Catherine loved to hear and she couldn't wait to be able to do the same to her next grandchild. She once dreaded being called grandma but she loved it, and to be honest she felt like being there for Sara was a way of making up for not being there for Charlie.

"So where are you and Lindsey off to tonight?" Catherine asked, her daughters were off out and she was looking after Sara so Ethan could go out with the boys.

"Cinema, I thought it was high time my little sister treated me to a night out before bump turns into baby." Charlie replied sitting down and allowing her daughter to climb onto her knee.

Catherine heard a cry and immediately got out of bed to go and check on her granddaughter, she was surprised to find Warrick stood over the travel cot.

"She is going to be a heartbreaker when she gets older." Warrick smiled looking at Catherine and then back at little Sara. "A good life ahead of her, she's got her mother's heart."

"Let's hope she doesn't have her mother's turbulent life." Catherine sighed and Warrick looked her in the eyes.

"Say you could change one thing about you and Charlie meeting what would it be?" Warrick asked, and he didn't wait for an answer as he knew.

"Why do I have to come again?" Charlie asked Sara as she stood in a room full of people she didn't know at all. She'd spent a hard day at work and had a day full of classes the next day.

"Because you've been working too hard and I think it's time you get to meet everyone I work with." Sara replied almost dragging Charlie over to where the team were assembled. Catherine spotted her younger self sat there trying to get the measure of the woman Sara had turned up with. Catherine watched the look flash across her face as Sara introduced the younger woman as her 'sister' and answering the confused expressions by Charlie saying Sara was one of her guardian angels.

Catherine watched herself try to work out how she knew the young woman and her expression visibly changed when the girl said her surname was Flynn.

"So Charlie where are you from?" Greg asked as he sat next to her and Catherine listened carefully as Charlie explained she was from San Francisco, then Sara took the opportunity to fill her colleagues in on her sister's achievements as Catherine tried to figure out why she felt like she should know Charlie.

Catherine had left the party feeling funny about her lack of knowledge and instead of driving home made her way to the crime lab where she ran a check on Charlie Flynn. It didn't bring up anything, so going on a hunch she typed in Charlotte Flynn and found the woman she'd met earlier that evening. With a date of birth that she'd never ever forget. Tears fell down younger Catherine's face as she studied the picture of her daughter and she thought about how intelligent she'd seemed and how easy she seemed to get on with people. She immediately wondered how her daughter had gone from Seattle to San Francisco and how she'd come to meet Sara Sidle.

Elder Catherine watched as younger Catherine spent a few weeks finding out more about Charlie from Sara before eventually being told that Charlie had been adopted. Then Sara stunned her by saying she knew that Catherine was her mother.

"When? How?" Catherine asked amazed, Sara had worked it out after seeing the pair of them sat near one another.

"You have some looks and expressions that are identical, and the Flynn thing it's too much of a coincidence to be honest." Sara replied before continuing that she'd been in the cupboard looking for something when she'd spotted Charlie's birth certificate. Sara hadn't said anything; she'd needed time to figure out how to broach the topic with her younger sister, and her colleague.

Catherine and Warrick watched as Sara told Charlie she'd found her mother, and that she'd also met her mother. Charlie was confused and shocked. She reluctantly agreed to a meeting with the woman who'd given her up a long time ago. Just like their real life first meeting there was a strong atmosphere, at least this time was in a coffee shop instead of Catherine showing up when Charlie had been arrested for breaking and entering. In this lifetime Charlie didn't really want to know Catherine, she had no real need for a mother figure; she was content enough with her adoptive family. Even though Charlie had been contented in the previous lifetime she had some part of her wondering and the way she found out made her more accepting.

"She never has needed me." Catherine said to Warrick as she watched mother and daughter shake hands knowing that those two would never have the relationship that she really had.

Christmas cards, birthday cards, mother's day cards, a phone call once a month was all Catherine got from her eldest daughter in this lifetime. Finding out about an elder sister had wrecked her relationship with Lindsey who no longer trusted her mother for the secret she'd kept and for what she'd been able to do. Catherine never realised the way she'd told Lindsey had made all the difference to how the teenager had accepted the information. As Charlie had moved away for college Lindsey had followed suit and gone to Chicago away from her mother until the pair of them were able to repair their relationship. Lindsey and Charlie struggled to get on too, the age gap was too big, their differences too noticeable for them to make any real bond. It seemed like those first meetings that Charlie and Lindsey had had when Charlie was in hospital had really made a difference to their relationship, in hospital Lindsey had seen Charlie as approachable, out of hospital and healthy Charlie could come across as quite intimidating at times

Catherine watched as Charlie got married with Sara there but not her, watched as she had her first child without her there. Watched Charlie treat her mother in law in the loving way she'd come to treat her.

"I never thought I'd owe so much to how we met." Catherine said to Warrick as she found herself back in the spare room by Sara's cot.

"In that scenario Charlie lost her choice due to pressure from you and her sister, in real life she actually had her own choice, with how she was medically nobody tried to get her to do what they thought was for the best." Warrick explained and Catherine understood. The accident that put Charlie in hospital had given them time and reasons; it had helped them build a relationship. Then when Charlie had moved to New York she'd been determined to keep the relationship going.

"Morning mum how was she?" Charlie asked as she and Lindsey walked into the kitchen the next morning as Catherine was attempting to feed Sara who wasn't in the mood for doing as her grandmother told her.

"Ma!" Sara exclaimed beaming at the sight of her mother and ending up with food over her face. "Sey!" She added spotting her auntie; Lindsey had spent hours trying to get her to talk but couldn't get her to say her name.

"I had an interesting dream last night," Catherine said to Charlie as Lindsey took over feeding Sara. "I dreamt that you and I met differently and we ended up not like this." She finished and watched her daughter closely.

"You think the only reason I agreed to see you is because I ended up being hit by a car?" Charlie asked putting it bluntly, Catherine nodded and Charlie explained that she didn't get forced into it, she wanted to do it. She was feeling vulnerable and needed to know about herself, and it was one of the best things she ever did.


	6. Chapter 6

What would have happened if?

Chapter 6 - What if she'd died in the accident?

It was agonising, waiting for news, watching people running to and from. Sara's birth had been straightforward, an 'easy' labour, but this was heartbreaking. Ethan wandered around looking like his world was on the brink of collapse, his mother holding baby Sara and giving the Willows girls sympathetic looks. She was worried about losing her eldest daughter in heartbreaking circumstances. The doctor came out to tell them that the baby was ok but Charlie was in a critical condition, the next few hours would determine if she lived or survived.

Catherine must have drifted off whilst sitting in the waiting room waiting for news because she saw Warrick stood before her.

"Stay strong Cath, she needs you." He said and she nodded.

"You know I don't think Ethan would be able to cope without her, and I don't think Lindsey or I will either."

"And now you're wondering what would have happened had you died?" He asked reading her thoughts and she nodded.

Catherine watched as the doctor broke the news to Charlie first, she watched her eldest daughter look over to where Lilly, Nancy and Lindsey were sat waiting for news. Lilly caught Charlie's eye and appeared to know what was going on. Charlie took a deep breath before walking over to her family. The first thing the young woman did was kneel down in front of her sister and take hold of her hand.

"Lindsey, mum didn't make it." Charlie said trying to fight back her own tears as her grandmother and auntie collapsed onto one another in near hysterics. The little girl started sobbing and crawled onto her big sister who picked the teenager up in her arms and held her as she cried. It was a heartbreaking scene for Catherine to watch.

She watched as Charlie put Lindsey to bed saying she'd take care of her no matter what before going downstairs and breaking down in Ethan's arms. He'd stood by her and helped her get Lindsey, her mother and grandmother home. Catherine watched as they young man she admired so much stayed strong as Charlie cried for the mother she'd only know for a few years.

"I want Lindsey to come and live with me." Charlie said the next morning to her grandmother, Lilly looked like she was going to argue but stopped herself, she knew what was for the best. Lindsey would need a fresh start in a new place to be able to move on from the death of her mother.

"It's what she would have wanted." Lilly admitted studying her eldest grandchild closely, she was struggling to cope but Lilly knew she'd be ok with Ethan at her side; it was just a shame to her that Catherine had never been able to meet him.

"I can't believe she's gone." Charlie admitted before breaking down in tears once she was on her own with Ethan. Catherine had never seen her eldest child so heartbroken; she'd seen Lindsey in that state but never Charlie. She saw her eldest as the strongest person in the world and she was. In that moment seeing them together made Catherine more certain than ever that her daughter was married to the right man for her.

Catherine watched as Ethan was there as Charlie and Lilly made the necessary arrangements, she watched Charlie be there for Lindsey, constantly letting her know she was loved and would always have a home with her. Then Catherine watched as her eldest child delivered her eulogy. She saw her friends and family paying their respects and there in the middle stood Charlie, Lindsey and Ethan, standing together as a new family unit.

Catherine's ashes were scattered out in the desert, her two daughters out there alone at sunset paying their final respects to their mother in a place the 3 of them had spent hours talking. The pair shared memories, Lindsey more than Charlie but Charlie still had some. She told Lindsey that she was glad she'd come to Vegas and met her, got to spend some time with her before they'd lost her. Lindsey was glad that her mother had always been there for her no matter what and loved her.

"In our thoughts and in our hearts you'll always be." Charlie said as they took the lid off of the urn and let the wind carry the ashes into the sunset.

Instead of the large affair Charlie and Ethan had a quiet wedding with a handful of close family as guests; Lindsey moved in with the pair of them and finished out high school, she'd been unsettled at first but Ethan and Charlie had helped to keep her on the straight and narrow, Ethan had naturally stepped into the role as a father figure to her and on many occasions Lindsey turned to him rather than to Charlie for advice. Charlie gave birth to a daughter called Sara Catherine and Lindsey started at NYU choosing to live with her sister rather than in dorms, at the time she was still fragile over losing her mother so wanted some stability and Charlie provided her with it. Catherine saw that her death had brought both of her daughters closer together; however they both felt something missing and had a shared sense of abandonment. Lindsey by the only parent she had left and Charlie by the only 'real' parent she'd ever known. Ethan provided their strongest link, being strong for the pair of them and mediating between several of their arguments over the years. He was the calm to both of their fiery tempers.

Catherine saw Lindsey meet the man of her dreams and then have Charlie walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. It was a bitter sweet day for Lindsey as Charlie and Ethan did the things that Catherine had once imagined her and Eddie doing, she knew Lindsey missed both her parents more than ever on that day. She watched Charlie and Lindsey spending summer days in the park with their husbands and children and then growing old, constantly missing but never forgetting her.

And then in the blink of an eye Warrick had taken them to a new scene, a graveside. Ethan was there a broken man, Charles, Sara, Michelle, Jeremy, Lilly, Nancy, Lindsey and a whole host of others were there including her. One look told Catherine that her daughter had died, her other self was a broken woman, holding onto her own mothers hand for support as Lindsey held little Sara in her arms and older Sara held onto a baby of her own, a baby Catherine could tell was her second grandchild. The scene then turned to a few years later, Ethan looked much older and tired, the kids were growing up without their mother and weren't doing well. Catherine wasn't coping great either, nor was Lindsey. Dream Catherine looked and saw herself struggling with the anger at losing her daughter after so few years together, Lindsey distraught at having lost someone else she loved.

"You need to help her fight for one last time." Warrick said

"What's going to happen in to her?" Catherine asked desperately. Warrick didn't respond, he gave her a kiss on the cheek and took a step away from her.

"Love and family." Warrick replied with a huge smile before and sending her back to the waiting room as the doctor continued to inform them of Charlie's condition.

It was down to Charlie whether or not she pulled through; Ethan went in to see his wife and came out in bits. Then Catherine went in and saw her daughter hooked up to lots of machines, keeping check on every aspect of her life.

"Keep fighting honey, I've seen what would have happened if I'd made certain choices and it's not pretty, but one choice I know I made right was the choice to have you." Catherine said into her daughter's ear. "There's a whole room full of people out there waiting for you and there's a baby crying out for you to look after it. So keep fighting Charlotte Hopkirk, keep fighting."

Ethan and Catherine went up to the baby unit to see the newborn, it was a boy, Catherine had a grandson, he was handsome and looked so much like his mother it hurt to look at him. Ethan smiled as the boy reached out to take hold of his hand and then broke down in tears. He went away as Catherine had an idea and went to speak to the nurse. Twenty minutes later Catherine walked into the room where her daughter was carrying her grandson with Lindsey carrying Sara.

"Mamma!" Sara called out spotting her mother; she'd already stared at her brother and decided she liked 'Sey' better.

"Charlie your children are here and want to see you." Catherine said taking a seat next to the bed. Lindsey put Sara on the floor and the little girl went and put her hand over her mothers, it was heart-warming to see. "You've got a son and he's got your eyes and your smile, he's handsome." As if on cue the little boy started crying, his cries upsetting Sara and making her cry too. "He wants his mother." Catherine said before taking him back out, Sara and Catherine followed.


	7. Epilogue

What would have happened if?

Epilogue

Catherine watched her youngest daughter dancing with her new husband and took a moment to think about how lucky she'd been in her life. She remembered having a vision of this day without her there to help her daughter and thanked her lucky stars that she'd been there for Lindsey on this special day. Her 25 year old daughter looked radiant on her wedding day and her new son in law adored her. Catherine was happy that he was a good man who would treat her daughter well and look after her.

"She looks so happy." Ethan said coming to sit next to Catherine after having spent the last 20 minutes dancing with Sara who was rapidly growing up, she looked so much like Charlie it was unbelievable, and she'd inherited many of her mother's personality traits. Catherine and Ethan chuckled as Sara then went up to where her younger brother Grant was and dragged him up to dance, the boy's face was a picture of pure annoyance but he knew better than to argue with her. Moments later he'd given up dancing and had taken to running and sliding on his knees, the fabric of his brand new trousers being ruined by the dance floor. He was quickly joined by another boy a little bit younger than him who took one look at the girl dancing on her own and chose to slide down the floor.

"Their trousers are going to be ruined." Catherine commented watching the boys enjoying themselves.

"I wish I could join them." Ethan commented making Catherine laugh.

"So you mean you didn't give them the idea last week when you were sliding up and down the hallway in those socks you'd just bought?" A voice chastised from behind.

"I didn't know you were going to be getting in then with them." Ethan tried to defend himself but he knew he had no hope, Catherine burst out laughing at his expression and he looked longingly out at the dance floor before announcing he was going to dance with his daughter.

"You know he's going to be skidding along the floor later." Charlie said sitting down next to her mother in the seat that had been vacated by her husband. Catherine shot a look at her first born, she was slowly going grey but she still had a youthful look, she looked less tired than she had done recently too, switching to family practice had made a big difference. She was no longer working stupid hours and was spending more time with the kids.

"Mummy!" 6 year old Owen said running up to his mother and sitting down on her knee giving her a kiss. "Daddy's not a good dancer." He observed watching Ethan dancing to the embarrassment of his daughter and eldest son who were stood glaring at him, Sara showing a look that she'd inherited from the Flynn side of the family.

"No he's not honey." Charlie said holding onto her youngest firmly. He was her miracle baby, after coming round the day after Grant had been born she'd faced the news that she'd never have another child. She'd been heartbroken as she'd always wanted to have a large family of her own, then just after Grant's first birthday Charlie had been taken ill only to discover she was pregnant. Owen's birth was uncomplicated and he captured the heart of the entire family with his cheeky smile.

"Can I dance with you?" Owen asked gazing at his mother adoringly. Charlie didn't respond instead she got up out of her seat with him in her arms and walked to the dance floor where the rest of her family were.

Catherine smiled as she gazed out at the dance floor, her new son in law was dancing with young Sara, twirling the girl round so much she was giggling, Grant and Owen were busy sliding along the floor with their father. And then she looked out and saw her two girls, both now very much grown up and independent but clinging together as they danced to one of their favourite songs. Catherine knew she was truly blessed; for once she had no regrets as her family danced together enjoying themselves.

"Told you it'd work out girl." Catherine was certain she'd just heard Warrick mutter, she turned around and scanned the room but couldn't see anything. Knowing he was right she chose to go and join her family and dance the rest of the night away.


End file.
